If there aren't any ups and downs in your life, it means you aren't living

First of all, I would like to start out by apologizing for not having written in so long. Quite honestly, it's because I haven't been thinking about it. Life has been one crazy ride lately. I am proud to say that I am officially an RN. :) Yay!!! My license arrived in the mail a few days ago. School was tough, and balancing school with work and other activities was even harder. So, I've gotten my but through nursing school and through the NCLEX. Now I'm at my next bump in the road. I need a job. I have been working at my local hospital for 2 and 1/2 years, and I made the mistake of expecting that I would get a job there. Well, to make a long story short, I interviewed for two positions and did not get either one. My assumption is because I had not yet taken the NCLEX (the nurse license exam), therefore they were unsure of whether or not I would pass when the time came to take the exam. After all of my hard work and dedication to the hospital, I took the blow very hard. It is still a little upsetting, but I have to remember that everything happens for a reason. There was a reason that I didn't get a job at that hospital. There is a reason for every single thing taht happens in our lives. Life would be pretty boring if there were no obstacles in our paths, right? So, after I got over the blues, I took the occurance as a lesson. We can't always get what we want. I have come this far. I am a nurse, and I know I can get a job. There may be bigger and better things for me out there in this big world! When one door closes, another one opens. I have not yet found that open door, but I have a feeling that good things will happen soon. So, I just want you to know, that I did learn a valuable lesson from everything that has happened. I am a nurse, and I will get a job. I know it. :) "Most obstacles melt away when we make up our minds to walk boldly through them." - Orison Swett Marden

8 Weeks and Counting

I know that my posting on this sught has been next to nothing in the past year. But the good news is that my journey through nursing school is almost over! (At least for now) I got an A in my critical care clinical rotation, and a 89% in my critical care lecture class. It's been a tough, rocky road, but I'm almost there. For my last 8 weeks of nursing school, I will be completing my Capstone, which is sort of like an internship. I will be working with one nurse who will be pretty much mentoring me through the process. It's supposed to be a very eductational experience. I'm a bit nervous, but I'm excited. My first choice for my capstone was to be in the ICU but there were no spots available, so I was placed in a tele unit. That's alright with me. I want to be a cardiac nurse, so it should be perfect. I also go excellent scores in my work evaluation. So, as you can probably tell, this week has been good to me. I am planning to take the board exam in June or July. Wish me luck!

Semester 3

Well, school started yesterday. Let me tell you, it is one heck of a job getting my butt back into gear!!! My summer break was too much fun and now it's time to get back to reality. Boohoo. But I know I can get through this, because I have to get through this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and nursing school has done that for me so far!! Pediatrics is going to be a hard class and clinical. But I am also excited about it. :) Good luck to other students who are starting school again!!!

I apologize for not writing as much as I had before, but as I am sure that many others understand, nursing school is incredibly hecktic. I had such a hard time finding minutes (let alone hours) to do small tasks like doing laundry and making coffee. I was on the go more than ever during my last eight weeks of classes. I had clinical every week, sometimes two days, class on top of it, exams that were barely possible to pass, and work on top of everything. I'm thankful because I know a lot of people in the program who do all I do and more (with children and the likes). So, finally, the semester is over, with good grades and all. I can finally kick back and read a book that has absolutely nothing to do with Atrial Fibrilation, Digoxin and Hypertension. This is a wonderful feeling! I've been sleeping until 9, working without thinking about the study time I was missing out on, and even smiling more. It's unbelievable that I have not felt this free since before last year, before I started this hellish nursing program. Now I'm one half of the way through. I know next semester is going to be tough, but I'm going to give it my all!!

Don't Just Double-Check, Triple-Check

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written. What's to blame? None other than nursing school of course. It's been hell ever since I finished my Psych rotation. Today I had my cardiac simulation. Simulations were created for nursing students to practice certain scenarios before actually encountering them in real life. Well, I could say that my simulation went pretty well, but... I'd be lying. I forgot one of the most basic and essential things performed in nursing care. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS identify your patient with the MAR (medication administration record) and check your medication 3 times for the 7 rights (patient, reason, documentation, med, dose, time, and route)! I forgot to do that. My patient was having chest pain, I got so caught up in treating the chest pain that I forgot about making sure I had the right client BEFORE I gave the medication!!! Well, well, HUGE mistake on my part. I will hopefully never ever make that mistake again. Lesson learned, check the patient. Don't you wanna know who you're taking care of? I do. Time to catch up on the rest of my homework.

Kind of an Apology and Confession of sorts...

I am very very happy today. My psych nursing class is over. I finished both the clinical and lecture class with a B. That's solid, although in the end it won't really matter. I have been thinking about how much my nursing school occupies my time. I'm not gonna lie, it's a lot of my time. And to be honest, I don't really mind that. Some people hate school, but I'm the type of person who loves to have stuff to study for, no matter how much I tend to bitch about it. Am I addicted to stress? I hope not. It's been a crazy first eight weeks of the semester. My car broke down, I got another car that gave me hell, I faild my first exam, ended up bringing it back up to a B. I woke up extremely late for clinical one day, walked in 30 minutes late looking pretty disgruntled. The stress that I have been enduring has been written all of my face, embedded in my body language, in my yoga practice and the pushups and sit-ups I've been doing every night. You can tell me that my butt hasn't gotten bigger but I know I gained weight. Students, if you are thinking about going to nursing school, I gaurantee you, it is NOT a breeze. Nursing school is a massive storm that we go through. No, you are not snuggled up inside watching the storm out the window, you are IN the storm, hanging onto a tree branch for your dear life, praying you don't get swept away. It's unfortunate, but it is a reality that people get dropped from the program. People dropped like flies last semester, fortunately it's been better this time around, but these next eight weeks will be hell. Who knows what's going to happen. The possibility of failing a class is all too real for any nursing student. The impossibility of getting A's in all classes, let alone one, is also all too real. This isn't a walk in the park. I never expected it to be. But sometimes the reality of this situation can get me down in the dumps. And to my friends, I want you to know that my neglect has not gone unnoticed by me. I know I've been a bitch for the past eight weeks. I know I haven't really participated in study sessions, nor did I want to. I'm not going to lie, it was depressing, it still will be depressing. I feel disconnected from everyone else. You make a close-knit group the first semester and by the next, your thrown out and isolated. No, maybe not to that extent, if you haven't already noticed, I can be a bit dramatic. I have been getting down, I have been selfish. I will probably still be selfish, I will feel like noone knows what I'm going through. I've felt that way the whole semester. You can tell me that you know, you understand, but I know myself, and trust me. It won't help. I'm overwhelmed. I want to be a selfish bitch for a while. I'm sorry to the people I have put on the backburner, and I will try to socialize a bit better. I'm sure all my friends (namely nursing people who were in Med Surge) did try to include me in activities, such as Med Surge study sessions where I would be the only one studying for psych. But please, bear with me this semester. I'm crabby. It's been hard for me, as it has for all of us. I love my friends, I appreciate them. Thank you for your support. Even though it seems like I don't really care.
Love,
Nancy

D is for Death and Failing Your Test

You may be wondering why my title is the way it is. I guess I should get on the the story. Yesterday was, I guess one could say, quite eventful. Work was crazy at the hospital. I was running around non-stop from 15:00 (3:00 pm) until 23:30 (11:30 pm). I was trying to get everyone's vitals taken on top of getting people to the bathroom, transferring patients so they could go down to get CATs or X-Rays, the works, and getting an EKG in as well! I was overwhelmed. I was in that moment, where I was feeling complete pity for myself, not realizing that yes, others were busy too. But I remained calm. At least for my patients. And of course, when it rains, it pours. At about 17:15 (6:15 pm)the family member of a patient ran out of the room screaming that someone needed to help! The patient coded and didn't make it. I've seen this happen before, but for some reason it hit me hard this time. Someone died. It was her time to go, but the thing that struck me, was the grieving process of the family. It was heart-wrenching. The daughter of the patient came down from another floor (she was also a patient), and they all cried, the men sat silently in the hallway, like soldiers. Empathy is important in these times of grief. As nurses, and aids, we see death more than most. And it so happens, that people see death so much that they lose that empathetic bone, or maybe just forget that it's there. Remember, people have their own ways of grieving. Don't roll your eyes, when the grandaughter is wailing loud enough for the whole hospital to hear. Culture is so diverse, we forget to see that people do react differently to situations. I was being scolded for not tying the patient's mouth closed. I had no idea that I was supposed to do that. I never did it before. Death is different for eveyone, some grieve in silence, some alone. As a future nurse, I am learning to look at things from an unjudgmental eye.
As for my first Psych Nursing exam. I got a D, a 74%. I wanted to cry. I was just 2% from a C! But I have 2 more exams to boost my grade. I'm going to find out what I was studying wrong, and fix it. I will pass this semester! I am not going to let myself give up! I will be a nurse!
Namaste