D is for Death and Failing Your Test

You may be wondering why my title is the way it is. I guess I should get on the the story. Yesterday was, I guess one could say, quite eventful. Work was crazy at the hospital. I was running around non-stop from 15:00 (3:00 pm) until 23:30 (11:30 pm). I was trying to get everyone's vitals taken on top of getting people to the bathroom, transferring patients so they could go down to get CATs or X-Rays, the works, and getting an EKG in as well! I was overwhelmed. I was in that moment, where I was feeling complete pity for myself, not realizing that yes, others were busy too. But I remained calm. At least for my patients. And of course, when it rains, it pours. At about 17:15 (6:15 pm)the family member of a patient ran out of the room screaming that someone needed to help! The patient coded and didn't make it. I've seen this happen before, but for some reason it hit me hard this time. Someone died. It was her time to go, but the thing that struck me, was the grieving process of the family. It was heart-wrenching. The daughter of the patient came down from another floor (she was also a patient), and they all cried, the men sat silently in the hallway, like soldiers. Empathy is important in these times of grief. As nurses, and aids, we see death more than most. And it so happens, that people see death so much that they lose that empathetic bone, or maybe just forget that it's there. Remember, people have their own ways of grieving. Don't roll your eyes, when the grandaughter is wailing loud enough for the whole hospital to hear. Culture is so diverse, we forget to see that people do react differently to situations. I was being scolded for not tying the patient's mouth closed. I had no idea that I was supposed to do that. I never did it before. Death is different for eveyone, some grieve in silence, some alone. As a future nurse, I am learning to look at things from an unjudgmental eye.
As for my first Psych Nursing exam. I got a D, a 74%. I wanted to cry. I was just 2% from a C! But I have 2 more exams to boost my grade. I'm going to find out what I was studying wrong, and fix it. I will pass this semester! I am not going to let myself give up! I will be a nurse!
Namaste