Semester 3

Well, school started yesterday. Let me tell you, it is one heck of a job getting my butt back into gear!!! My summer break was too much fun and now it's time to get back to reality. Boohoo. But I know I can get through this, because I have to get through this. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and nursing school has done that for me so far!! Pediatrics is going to be a hard class and clinical. But I am also excited about it. :) Good luck to other students who are starting school again!!!

I apologize for not writing as much as I had before, but as I am sure that many others understand, nursing school is incredibly hecktic. I had such a hard time finding minutes (let alone hours) to do small tasks like doing laundry and making coffee. I was on the go more than ever during my last eight weeks of classes. I had clinical every week, sometimes two days, class on top of it, exams that were barely possible to pass, and work on top of everything. I'm thankful because I know a lot of people in the program who do all I do and more (with children and the likes). So, finally, the semester is over, with good grades and all. I can finally kick back and read a book that has absolutely nothing to do with Atrial Fibrilation, Digoxin and Hypertension. This is a wonderful feeling! I've been sleeping until 9, working without thinking about the study time I was missing out on, and even smiling more. It's unbelievable that I have not felt this free since before last year, before I started this hellish nursing program. Now I'm one half of the way through. I know next semester is going to be tough, but I'm going to give it my all!!

Don't Just Double-Check, Triple-Check

Wow, it's been a long time since I've written. What's to blame? None other than nursing school of course. It's been hell ever since I finished my Psych rotation. Today I had my cardiac simulation. Simulations were created for nursing students to practice certain scenarios before actually encountering them in real life. Well, I could say that my simulation went pretty well, but... I'd be lying. I forgot one of the most basic and essential things performed in nursing care. ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS identify your patient with the MAR (medication administration record) and check your medication 3 times for the 7 rights (patient, reason, documentation, med, dose, time, and route)! I forgot to do that. My patient was having chest pain, I got so caught up in treating the chest pain that I forgot about making sure I had the right client BEFORE I gave the medication!!! Well, well, HUGE mistake on my part. I will hopefully never ever make that mistake again. Lesson learned, check the patient. Don't you wanna know who you're taking care of? I do. Time to catch up on the rest of my homework.

Kind of an Apology and Confession of sorts...

I am very very happy today. My psych nursing class is over. I finished both the clinical and lecture class with a B. That's solid, although in the end it won't really matter. I have been thinking about how much my nursing school occupies my time. I'm not gonna lie, it's a lot of my time. And to be honest, I don't really mind that. Some people hate school, but I'm the type of person who loves to have stuff to study for, no matter how much I tend to bitch about it. Am I addicted to stress? I hope not. It's been a crazy first eight weeks of the semester. My car broke down, I got another car that gave me hell, I faild my first exam, ended up bringing it back up to a B. I woke up extremely late for clinical one day, walked in 30 minutes late looking pretty disgruntled. The stress that I have been enduring has been written all of my face, embedded in my body language, in my yoga practice and the pushups and sit-ups I've been doing every night. You can tell me that my butt hasn't gotten bigger but I know I gained weight. Students, if you are thinking about going to nursing school, I gaurantee you, it is NOT a breeze. Nursing school is a massive storm that we go through. No, you are not snuggled up inside watching the storm out the window, you are IN the storm, hanging onto a tree branch for your dear life, praying you don't get swept away. It's unfortunate, but it is a reality that people get dropped from the program. People dropped like flies last semester, fortunately it's been better this time around, but these next eight weeks will be hell. Who knows what's going to happen. The possibility of failing a class is all too real for any nursing student. The impossibility of getting A's in all classes, let alone one, is also all too real. This isn't a walk in the park. I never expected it to be. But sometimes the reality of this situation can get me down in the dumps. And to my friends, I want you to know that my neglect has not gone unnoticed by me. I know I've been a bitch for the past eight weeks. I know I haven't really participated in study sessions, nor did I want to. I'm not going to lie, it was depressing, it still will be depressing. I feel disconnected from everyone else. You make a close-knit group the first semester and by the next, your thrown out and isolated. No, maybe not to that extent, if you haven't already noticed, I can be a bit dramatic. I have been getting down, I have been selfish. I will probably still be selfish, I will feel like noone knows what I'm going through. I've felt that way the whole semester. You can tell me that you know, you understand, but I know myself, and trust me. It won't help. I'm overwhelmed. I want to be a selfish bitch for a while. I'm sorry to the people I have put on the backburner, and I will try to socialize a bit better. I'm sure all my friends (namely nursing people who were in Med Surge) did try to include me in activities, such as Med Surge study sessions where I would be the only one studying for psych. But please, bear with me this semester. I'm crabby. It's been hard for me, as it has for all of us. I love my friends, I appreciate them. Thank you for your support. Even though it seems like I don't really care.
Love,
Nancy

D is for Death and Failing Your Test

You may be wondering why my title is the way it is. I guess I should get on the the story. Yesterday was, I guess one could say, quite eventful. Work was crazy at the hospital. I was running around non-stop from 15:00 (3:00 pm) until 23:30 (11:30 pm). I was trying to get everyone's vitals taken on top of getting people to the bathroom, transferring patients so they could go down to get CATs or X-Rays, the works, and getting an EKG in as well! I was overwhelmed. I was in that moment, where I was feeling complete pity for myself, not realizing that yes, others were busy too. But I remained calm. At least for my patients. And of course, when it rains, it pours. At about 17:15 (6:15 pm)the family member of a patient ran out of the room screaming that someone needed to help! The patient coded and didn't make it. I've seen this happen before, but for some reason it hit me hard this time. Someone died. It was her time to go, but the thing that struck me, was the grieving process of the family. It was heart-wrenching. The daughter of the patient came down from another floor (she was also a patient), and they all cried, the men sat silently in the hallway, like soldiers. Empathy is important in these times of grief. As nurses, and aids, we see death more than most. And it so happens, that people see death so much that they lose that empathetic bone, or maybe just forget that it's there. Remember, people have their own ways of grieving. Don't roll your eyes, when the grandaughter is wailing loud enough for the whole hospital to hear. Culture is so diverse, we forget to see that people do react differently to situations. I was being scolded for not tying the patient's mouth closed. I had no idea that I was supposed to do that. I never did it before. Death is different for eveyone, some grieve in silence, some alone. As a future nurse, I am learning to look at things from an unjudgmental eye.
As for my first Psych Nursing exam. I got a D, a 74%. I wanted to cry. I was just 2% from a C! But I have 2 more exams to boost my grade. I'm going to find out what I was studying wrong, and fix it. I will pass this semester! I am not going to let myself give up! I will be a nurse!
Namaste

What Life Throws at You, You Sometimes Just Have to Deal With

There has been a subsequent amount of stress in my life this past week and a half. My car died. I got another (used) car, which then decided to give me touble, including when it died at a stop-light and refused to start up again. This was all on top of taking my four classes, trying to keep up with homework and working about 30hrs last week. It summed up to be a not-so-fun week. But I survived, now I have to pass my first psych-nursing exam of the semester tomorrow at 8:00 am. I'm hoping it's not too hard. I'm thinking that this week should turn out to be much better than the last. I'm expecting that clinicals will go well, by all means, I'll MAKE it go well. I'm pretty much staying on top of all of my school work. I'm sure when my Med-Surge rotation comes around, I will be saying differently. But for now, I'm appreciating every calm moment and every easy homework assignment that is handed to me. I did a bit of a different meditation than I normally do. I don't think I made it up, but I have never read about it anywhere. Basically, since I have been through an amount of stress this past week, I did notice that there has been a bit of anger, resentment, and just a pissed-off mood, running through my veins. I started by sitting and just breathing. Paying attention to my breath. Then, in my mind I told my self to inhale good thoughts. Thoughts of love, kindness, calmness, and relaxation. As I exhaled, I exhaled all the hate, the anger, the anxiety and worry from my body. Why did I do this? Did you know that it is scientifically proven that stress has a negative effect on the human cells? Well, it does. It makes sick people sicker. Why do we get diarrhea, headaches, nausea and stomach-aches before an exam. Usually from anxiety. Yes, so if you're stressed, maybe try this simple meditation. Bring in the warm, happy, calm feelings. And exhale the stress.
Thank you and Namaste

All Was Well...

Until the new semester began. Okay, that's a bit pessimistic, and my first day back really wasn't that bad. Psych nursing seems like it's going to be a very interesting class. I have my first clinical tomorrow, which I am hoping I am prepared for. I also had pharmacology, which so far is extremely fascinating. In my opinion. It's a bit overwhelming to have been treated to such a wonderful and long break, and now being thrown back into the hurricane once again. But, surprisingly, I feel ,uch calmer. Is it because it just hasn't begun to get stressful yet? (Probably) Or because, maybe, just maybe, I've begun to know what to expect of the overloaded curriculum. I am really striving to take better care of myself this semester. Maybe drink one-less cup of coffee a day? mmmmm, nah. I think I'll stick to the coffee, I just won't let myself get love-handles this time. So, here goes!!! And I'm diving in!

Where Did the Time Go???

I can't believe I'm going to be starting back to school in less than a week. I already have a ton of homework to get through. Yep, the nightmare begins once again. But this time I'm planning on approaching it differently. I will be more confident in myself and give myself more time than I did last semester. If I need to take some time off work, I will. I've accumulated quite a bit of unused vacation hours. Yup. I will be putting full-focus on school, but I won't ignore my Yoga practice. That is essential for me. Now, I have to try to finish reading the five chapters I have assigned for my Psych nursing class. Good luck to everyone else who is in school!